Saturday, May 23, 2009

Guns Blazing

Things going on in Auterytown over the next few weeks:

- Going to the Asian festival Saturday, and then to see the much watched and hated Terminator: Salvation
- "Second Amendment Sunday": The Barretts, Liberty, and myself are going to the firing range to check out his .357
- Monday Dominique and her husband and brood will be coming into town from Vermont and staying with us for the week
- Tuesday I'm taking a day off work to go to the zoo with club Allerding
- next Friday and Saturday we're renting a cabin for a couple days to see Zoe and Eric's wedding plus festivities
- Wednesday the 3rd is Stacey's (possibly final) orthodontist appointment
- Friday the 5th Liberty is getting leg surgery
- Saturday the 6th is Stacey's soccer team's going away party
- Sunday the 7th is a canoeing outing with my mentee, Dave

And finally, later that week Stacey will be out of school, and begin her summer of resident camps and visiting extended family out of state. Somewhere in there library books are due.

This would cause a lesser man panic, a lazier man to forget something, or myself to send out scores of emails organizing everything while sippin' my Port.

So Sunday will be the first time I've fired a gun since I was 18 and went off into the woods with a crazy Libertarian activist. He was trying to recruit college kids for one campaign or another, and I shot with him a standard .38 6-shooter into a target nailed to a tree. Thr time hanging with the crazy Libertarian was close to the time I was dating a crazy Unitarian, but that's another story altogether. [The punchline being I shouldn't talk about religion to my mom's side of the family. Ever.]

I had sort of sworn off guns and other "vices" when I swore off alcohol when I was 20. I can't see having one in the house since we have kids, and also because one day I'll irritate the wife enough to make her shoot me. I just will, it's who I am. No point debating the issue, I'll make her want to kill me at some point. Best not to have a handy gun laying around when that happens.

So I embraced the whole alcohol thing without any ill effects (yet), and I'm looking forward to going out shooting with Liberty and the Barretts. I think next on the list should be hitting a riverboat casino to try out gambling, and maybe in a few months I'll turn off my cable and replace it with stealing wi-fi and watching everything on Hulu. More on my progress toward vice and ruin as it happens.

Last, since there is so much going on, I won't have anything longwinded to post for a while. My fan base of 1 will have to find something else to do in the meantime. I suggest enjoying your new wife. If my experience is any indicator, marriage to an Allerding is a good deal. You've got the classic rock angle, hippy food, the Breakfast Club dance... I could go on. After a year of analysis, I find that there's no downside.

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